Post by allliieeRocks on Oct 28, 2008 17:09:55 GMT -8
The Biggest Question
My biggest question of all, Will I ever be truly happy? Is Anyone? Reality and truth are so disported, why? The pain I once felt, the heartache is still scared. Destroying possibility. Fate won't put it's rule over me again. Solitude is where I search for guidance. Just stay away, Keep your promises, as sincere as you may try to be, the only trust I believe in is my own. Promises are just words until action is present. Make them all you want, but the only ones I care to see come true are the ones I make to myself. I must Break free and find myself again. For Too Long I have lost myself in everyone else's needs and clesires. Wishing only to make them feel the happiness I so desire.
I always thought what if I can make another smile and feel special then I would too. And for a while it worked, but then I became jealous of thinking or hoping that I would receive that same love and attention I give to those Restrain, Stop giving, cuz all I'm really doing is giving away myself to people who don't appreciate me. People who don't see who I'm really about. That don't know who I am or what I need. I want to be adored, spoiled with love, cared for when I'm down or sick. To show me, not promise all that could be and give me empty hopes. Maybe, hopefully, I'll see it clear. My path to love and happiness has just began, I just need patience.
Well, I guess this has sort of become my diary or journal. Whatever you may call it, it's my release...
Sometimes you just get to a point, a place where you don't know which direction to go. The change is adment, but what part? Pushing and Shoving, have I really sent you away for ever? So much of me wants to correct this decision, questioning the Right and Wrong? But at this point, Whats the difference? A continuous battle within, show me a sign so it can end. I'm Remanded of my youth, but numbering age doesn't compare to my lessons taught from experience. Wise beyond my years, welcome come and guide me pass this mind struggle. My confusion only wastes time, there are no lessons here that i haven't already learned. Just reminders. I'm wasting time being indecisive.
[My5:http://www.myspace.com/allllliieerocks]
